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It's time for me to be honest. I haven't been posting recently, because I feel like I'm dangling right now.
A friend of ours died this week. While we were waiting to hear each bit of news as it developed and praying for a miracle, it didn't feel right to post mundane bits of fun. And now that he is gone, it still doesn't feel right. I'm glad that he is in heaven, but I am beyond sad that his family is left here without him, and I am having a hard time believing that he is truly happy over leaving them behind. I'm feeling slightly foolish for grieving so much when our contact with him recently hasn't been so drastic that he's left a hole in my life...but he HAS left a hole in my life.
Why is that?
I'm sick over the thought of his wife and kids having to move on without him, and the fact that there is not one blessed physical thing that I can do to help out. Other than pray. Which I know is the best thing I can do, but it doesn't feel like it. I feel guilty that this post has been all about me and how I feel. What about Liisa and how she feels? But truthfully, I don't even want to go there. It is too sorrowful.
When Liberty climbs backwards out of her highchair, blindly feeling for a rung that is two inches below where her foot naturally can reach...that is how I feel right now. Dangling.
A friend of ours died this week. While we were waiting to hear each bit of news as it developed and praying for a miracle, it didn't feel right to post mundane bits of fun. And now that he is gone, it still doesn't feel right. I'm glad that he is in heaven, but I am beyond sad that his family is left here without him, and I am having a hard time believing that he is truly happy over leaving them behind. I'm feeling slightly foolish for grieving so much when our contact with him recently hasn't been so drastic that he's left a hole in my life...but he HAS left a hole in my life.
Why is that?
I'm sick over the thought of his wife and kids having to move on without him, and the fact that there is not one blessed physical thing that I can do to help out. Other than pray. Which I know is the best thing I can do, but it doesn't feel like it. I feel guilty that this post has been all about me and how I feel. What about Liisa and how she feels? But truthfully, I don't even want to go there. It is too sorrowful.
When Liberty climbs backwards out of her highchair, blindly feeling for a rung that is two inches below where her foot naturally can reach...that is how I feel right now. Dangling.
Missy, remember the Klimek's? We felt the same way...My advice - be a friend to the wife. Let her know you care. Sometimes the best words are...I don't know the words to help you, but I will be here to listen. Have Jeremy become the role model for the children, especially the boys. I'll be praying for them as well as you as you try to minister to them. Love you.
I'm sorry you're dangling right now. I sort of understand how you're feeling even though I haven't lost a friend recently. Lately, there have been deaths of people close to my age or in similar life situations (a homeschooling father) in our local area, that I somehow identify with and it has caused me great sadness for their families. In the case of the homeschooling dad, my homeschool group asked for prayer for the family (it was completely unexpected, a car wreck, he was 29). I think because there's a part of their life that I identify with I feel empathy for them rather than sympathy. I can feel a little of what that must feel like. I wonder if that is what has you dangling? You can feel a little of what your friend must be going through. You are right though, prayer is the best thing you can do. Pray hard and remember Jeremiah 29:11. God has a plan for each of us, even though to us, it doesn't always make sense. I'll be praying for you as you pray for this family.