The house is in complete order (if you don't count the plastic tub full of Jeremy's high school treasures that was too heavy for me to slide into a closet.) Our neighbor Chuck mowed the yard again and weed-whacked. The basement is gorgeous thanks to my friend Kari. We rearranged furniture and decorated. We stored and stacked bins. Everything is in place. I drained the pool and stored it in the garage for the day. I even set the dining table with two place settings and a vase of flowers. The virtual tour photographer should arrive at the house around noon, and the tour for all of the realtors should also take place sometime today.

Then when I go home with the girls, we can mess it all up!

We'll get the pool out of storage and splash and laugh. We'll cook supper and throw our food at the walls. We'll leave wet clothes all over the floor. We'll strew books and toys around the house and in general make a mess.

We'll giggle and tickle and roll around on the carpeting and finally collapse into bed taking with us the peace that only comes from knowing that pictures have been taken. Therefore recording forever the one day that EVERYTHING was in it's place.

Our house is officially "on the market!" I just checked out our website, and I have to say that our realtor must be the best one because the music she picked for our virtual tour is SO much better than the other houses' music.

She is a keeper.

My friend Kari is abandoning her family to spend the night with me tonight! We are going to go grocery shopping together, cook fun creations, organize the basement and stage the house so that it is ready for it's virtual tour photographer. (Right now, only the front of our house is shown on the website.)

It's everything a sleepover should be.

Minus the barbies.

What? You never organized a basement at your sleepovers? I'll let you know what you've been missing out on after I do it.

Liberty slept through the night with no crying! This is the first time since Daddy left last week that she has slept, which in turn means that last night was the first night that I slept through the night since Daddy left.

Oh, sleep! Blissful, wonderful, sleep!

But I think I got bit by a fly while I slept. I noticed him lurking on my ceiling just as my eyes were closing. I thought about the flyswatter hanging on it's hook in the kitchen.

That's all I did. I thought about it.

This morning I woke up with two little red spots on my chest. I hope I poisoned him. Flies are not my happy friends.

Tonight before I sink into my mattress, I will sneak up on him. Armed with my fly swatter. "To the death!" I will shout.

Our neighbor, Chuck, mowed our grass yesterday afternoon and took some breaks to play with Liberty and Mercy. They loved it! He also left behind a present: he dumped our grass clippings into a pile at the edge of our property, and Liberty has claimed it as her own personal mountain. She runs through it, climbs on it, lounges in it, jumps on it. A whole new world of joy has presented itself to her, and she is intent on discovering every aspect.

She got into my sewing box on Saturday and created a "spider" out of my spools of thread. This black, blue, orange and cream spider has become her best friend, and she tells me often, "Sss! Spida seeping," or "Yook, Mommy, my bug is happy fins." (happy friends)

Mercy stood by herself on Saturday and TOOK a step! She balanced by herself for 0.7 seconds. [I counted ;-)] She's talking now, too. So far, I have heard her say, "I love you." "Uh-oh." "All done." and a few others that I can't remember now. I guarantee you, she's said a lot more than that, but it's all I can do to decipher those words. So the rest of what she's telling me just gets nodded at.

Jeremy left for Indiana yesterday morning, and I spent my first night alone with the girls. It was a strange feeling.

My family has also been living with us for the past week. Dad just about single-handedly put the house in selling condition: painting, staining, minor repairs. His skill and energy level amaze me! My sister Faith took care of Liberty and Mercy while Jeremy and I ran errands, met with realtors, conducted conference calls with the relocators (a new word) and focused on projects. She even cleaned and did laundry for us a few times! My brother Pete cooked for us every night and did the dishes. My brother Zach kept us all entertained, especially Liberty. But they all left when Jeremy did, and the house is suddenly empty and quiet.

My brain is making lists, and life will probably run relatively smoothly after I get my routine organized again. Since January, Jeremy has been running the household and keeping the girls’ on track. Now, those tasks are my responsibility again. “I’ve done this before,” I keep telling myself. “Remember? When Jeremy was on night shift? It is possible to do.”

Last night, after the girls went to bed, I stood in the kitchen and stared around me. Jeremy always took the garbage out for me. Now, I need to remember to do that. Jeremy always filled up my gas tank before I hit empty. Now, I need to remember to do that. Jeremy always locked the house up at nighttime. Now, I need to remember to do that.

The edges of panic seeped into my heart. What if I forget something important that he used to do? What is the worst that could happen, and how can I plan for that?

Peace! God jumped into my consciousness. I am still here. You are not alone.

My friend Annie tagged me for the following list.

Here are the instructions: This can be a quick one. Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.

1. The Bible by God

2. The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom (My dad read this to me when I was little, and I've read it several times since. Among other things, it has helped remind me that God ALWAYS does what is best, and that no matter the circumstances -- man is not in control.)

3. In My Father's House by Corrie ten Boom (I read this for the first time last year, and it really brought home how influentially God can use a Godly parent to prepare a child for His future use.)

4. Little Women, Little Men & Jo's Boys by Louisa May Alcott (I read these books repeatedly when I was in grade school, and it showed me the concept that children should strive to be excellent in spirit and in actions, that I didn't need to wait to grow up before I began "working" on my inner man. It also watered a spirit of hospitality and fun open-housed-ness.)

5. Biography (maybe autobiography?) of Amy Carmichael by I'm not sure who (My dad read this to me when I was little, and what stuck out to me the most was the fact that God's way is better than our way.)

6. Biography of Gladys Aylwood by I'm not sure who (I heard this book read in chapters over the radio when I was a kid. I was impressed with Gladys' sense of adventure and love for "her" kids, and by the fact that she just did it, instead of waiting for others to say it was okay.)

7. Biography of Hudson Taylor by who knows (I was required to read this for a book report one year for a church club that I was in. What I took away from it was the love that Hudson had for the Chinese. He didn't try to transform them into his acceptable culture. Instead, he blended into their culture and told them THEY were valuable to God.)

8. God at the Controls by Jean Dye Johnson (My dad read this book to me when I was in grade school, and I've read it to myself more times than I can remember since then. What God always teaches me is the importance of WAITING and SPRINGING INTO ACTION. Both things I struggle with.)

9. Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot (I was required to read this in eighth grade as part of my literature class, and I fell in love with it. The quote by Jim Elliot --possibly mangled by me-- "He is no fool, who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose," has replayed itself in my brain ever since.

10. The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis (I still have not read the entire series. In fact, I think I've only read the first three or four books, but every time I pick one of them up, I am amazed again at the object lessons springing to life all around me. God is huge, and somehow, aspects of Who He is and how He has designed this life to work are woven so understandably into these stories by C. S. Lewis. I get blown away.)

11. Seeking The Secret Place by Lyle Dorsett (This is a biography of C. S. Lewis that I picked up at a garage sale [or maybe from the free books at the school library?], and what has impressed me the most about this book is the demonstration of the power of God in a person's life. Mr. Lewis was not someone who walked with God early in his life, or even someone who knew much about God. I love watching the transformation slowly unfold that changed him from what he was into what he became. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" Second Corinthians 5:17)

12. Biography of George Mueller by Faith Coxe Bailey (This is another book that Dad read to me when I was little, and what stuck with me is the fact that God can be trusted even in situations that look impossible to us.)

13. Any Sherlock Holmes mystery by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (Oh, how I loved these books. When I was in high school, I devoured every bit of them. Then I pretended I was on a case. Constantly. Yeah, I needed a muzzle for my imagination. Observation is the part of these books that stuck with me. Observation which in turn feeds my imagination. People-watching. Stalker? I'll stop there, but know that these books which started this habit has greatly enriched my life, or at least the entertainment that I get out of life.)

14. The Mark of the Lion series by Francine Rivers (I read this trilogy for the first time when I was a sophomore in college, and I haven't been the same since. The one thing that always comes back to me is the importance of following God even if you are nothing. God uses our small decisions to influence others for Him. It's humbling and sobering. Also, God showed me how important it is to LOVE, whole-heartedly, unselfishly whomever happens to be around us.)

15. The Secret of the Rose series by Michael Phillips (I have only read this series one time. I discovered it on the sixth floor of the library the summer of my sophomore year in college, and I would love to read it again, or own it [ahem, Jeremy]. While I was reading, God was tugging on my heart over and over about different things. The author puts various tidbits and object lessons throughout the story, and the truths are not always about the same thing. At one point, God had so convicted me that I had to put the story book down and get on my knees before Him. I took two things away from reading that series. The first is the fact that God should not be separated from my daily life, my entertainment. The second is the conviction that any books that I ever write need to be woven with Truth.)

I turned 30 on Sunday, and Jeremy found the perfect card.

On the front it says "THIRTY YEARS HAPPY!" When you open it, Tim McGraw sings, "I think I'll take a moment to celebrate my age..."

But the best part is the note that Jeremy wrote: "Happy Birthday! I look forward to spending the next 30 years with you by my side. Just imagine the adventures we're going to have!"

Oooh! I can't wait! :-)

I just read this post by Fiddledeedee, and it brought back a wonderful memory. In fact, I commented on her post, and then decided to paste my comment here as a post of it's own. (It certainly was long enough!)

I very distinctly remember the moment about 26 years ago when I learned to read.

I was in kindergarten, home-schooled, and I do not know what curriculum my parents were using then. I had a small paperback book with rows of pictures. Under the pictures were words like hat, wet, bug, etc. I “read” that book for ages and I always got everything correct except for the word “wet.”

(In reality, I was not reading, I was simply looking at the pictures and saying what they were. The “wet” picture was water pouring from a bathtub faucet so I always guessed “water” or “faucet” or “pipe” and I was so frustrated that I wasn’t getting it right.

One day, I sat snuggled against my dad’s side, tucked under his arm while he held the book. I did my usual guessing, and when I came to “wet” I hesitated. I knew it wasn’t water, but I couldn’t remember what it was. My dad patiently used his index finger to reveal the letters one at a time to me while I sounded them out. We sounded them over and over and over and over together. I was saying the word correctly, but not comprehending that it was a word.

Suddenly, it clicked!

“WET!” I yelled out. “WET! IT’S WET, DADDY!” And I realized what reading was. I snatched the book from his hands and turned back to the first page to READ FOR REAL all of the words.

A whole new world opened, and I don’t think I’ve been without a book in my hands since.

Well, except for maybe right now when I need both hands to type.

I consider myself to be a laid back, easy-going, que sera sera sort of person. I enjoy adventure and the unknown. I love surprises; I am very flexible. I enjoy life when someone else has the worries and hassles of being in charge, and I can just come along and look at the pretty scenery. (And maybe complain once in a while, if I find a butterfly that the existing schedule will not allow me to follow.)

This is why Jeremy and I work so well together. He provides the plan, and I provide the fun! Well, he's pretty good at the fun, too, I suppose.

But, if I have to be the responsible one and come up with a plan, my hidden control freak emerges. My plan must be thought out and written down ahead of time. Every event is timed and recorded right down to the minutes. For example: If I drove 72 miles per hour, it used to take me seventeen minutes to get from a parked position in our driveway to a parked position outside of Kimmie's school. Assuming it should take her about two or three minutes to walk from our car and get into a sitting position at her school desk, I knew exactly what time I needed to get up in the morning, taking into consideration that the two little girls usually took approximately twenty-three minutes on a good day to get out of bed, diapers changed, clothes on, hairs brushed and food shoved into their hands. This was all written down in my day planner by the minutes.

You think I am crazy?

You should see the schedule that I wrote in my day planner after Mercy was born. I could be classified as mental.

All of that to say, I am facing a great opportunity for my freakishness to show (no comments from the peanut gallery, please). We have a house that needs to sell. A replacement needs to be found for me at work. A new place to live in Indiana needs to be found. All of these items need to coincide fairly nicely with each other, or our family is going to suffer some type of inconvenience.

So last week, I began planning. I pulled out my day planner, and I wrote, SELL HOUSE. Only, I couldn't figure out which date to put that on. I don't know when someone will want to buy the house. So I decided I would come back to that. HIRE REPLACEMENT was next. Um, but, I don't want to hire a replacement until I am ready to move, and I won't be ready to move until I have something to move into, and I won't be able to afford something to move into until this house sells, and I can't sell this house until I have somewhere else to go...

The rain beats down while I type. The pounding sound invigorates my soul. Action! Movement! Life!

God gave Jeremy a job last week. YAY!!! I've stopped writing here because the two weeks leading up to Kimmie's graduation and the craziness surrounding it took all of my brain-power. Afterwards, we were in the process of working out details regarding Jeremy's new job, and I didn't want to let anything slip prematurely.

In the immortal words of Inigo Montoya, "Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up."

1. Kimmie graduated from high school. Family came. It was mucho fun-o. Pictures coming soon.

2. Kimmie moved into her own apartment. A nice place with large windows and a great view of big trees.

3. My sister Charity moved out of our house and in with some friends. She is still slowly removing belongings from our house.

4. Jeremy had three interviews in one week. He spent one night during that entire week at home, and I wondered if another interview would force him to miss the graduation festivities. Thankfully, it did not.

5. We accepted a job offer. Jeremy will now officially be using his college degree, and we are moving to Indiana.

6. I left my lunch box in my car (parked a block and a half away). Did I mention it is pouring down rain?

7. I'm starving.

A few days ago, Liberty found a navy blue umbrella. She brought it to the backyard with her, and held it over her head. "Bye-bye, Mommy." She waved at me sweetly. "I goin' to da cowds."

I didn't understand her dialect very well, so I said hesitantly, "Okay, just make sure you stay in the backyard." I smiled at her.

She shook her head, "I goin' to da cowds." She pointed up to the sky.

Suddenly, I realized she was Mary Poppins, and I grinned at her, "Okay, have fun in the clouds! Come back soon."

She stood expectantly under her umbrella waiting. Nothing happened. A funny look crossed her face. She tried to jump gently into the air, but gravity didn't work with her very well.

"Mommy, it's boken. Thix it." She waggled her umbrella handle at me.

Isn't it nice to think that Mommy can fix anything? Oh, how I wish I could fix that. We would soar through the clouds together under the umbrella. Instead, I showed her how to pretend she was flying.

She jumped around on the back deck talking to "da buds" as she passed them in the sky. Later, I found her lounging in a patch of clover (the bane of her daddy's existence) in the yard with the umbrella propped over her providing a lean-to shelter. "I in my hose, Mommy!" she called.

What a talented umbrella. :-)

Jeremy has a second interview.

See? I can still be calm.

I love being Mommy to my girls who are at three very different stages in life:

Now that Kimmie has her license and her own car, there is no more leaving early to get her to school on time, picking her up from school, taking her to work, picking her up from work, taking her to her friends' houses, picking her up from her friends' houses, dropping her off at the store, picking her up from the store...

My life has become quieter. While I still wonder how Kimmie is doing: is she safe? is she making wise decisions? God is teaching me to let go. Kimmie comes and goes as she pleases without disturbing anyone. She calls or emails to let me know her plans, and she is becoming increasingly independent. She even called me the other day, just to talk. "I miss you," she said. "It feels strange to start my day without talking to you." I remember a time when Jeremy and I had to walk her through her chores and ask repeatedly what her plans were or how her day went. I remember shaking my head and fearing what her future may be like if she planned to use the logic currently in her head. But now that she has more freedom, she comes in when she wants, takes care of the supper dishes without being told, and initiates letting me know where she plans to be and when. It's shocking. It's wonderful. How did she become so responsible? After watching this transition, my spirit has become quieter and more at rest. She will survive. She may even thrive! I am proud. I feel like a first-time gardener who planted seeds, and watered them, and protected them from the wind and the bunny rabbits and the birds, and sat and wondered. Trepidation. Will the seeds sprout? If they sprout, will they live? If they live, will they become strong? If they become strong, will they bear fruit?

The seeds are growing!

With Kimmie chauffering herself, I am able to slow down to enjoy my home-time more. I have two other little girls who have from necessity been carted here and there in the middle of their naps, in the middle of their meals, a few hours after they've been put in bed for the night...but now the interruptions are gone. A routine is slowly being established, and I am able to focus more fully on them.

They are fun!

This is a transition phase for me that I am reveling in, and I had no idea that it would arrive. The quiet, the playfulness, the peace. Even when they are both crying at once, the feeling is lighter, and I don't mind it.

Yesterday, Mercy had a nine month well-baby check up. While we sat in the examining room waiting for the doctor, Mercy pulled herself to a standing position on my lap and looked me squarely in the eyes. She scrunched up her nose and blew air at me. Then she touched her forehead to mine and held the contact for several seconds. My arms immediately wrapped around her little back and savored the feeling. My baby. She twisted her head and grinned at me, then she watched in concentration as I clicked my tongue inside my mouth. The intense gaze on my mouth memorized the movements for future tongue-clicking of her own.

We laughed together; we played together. We savored every touch and smile...well, I did, at least. I enjoy seeing the intelligence in my baby's eyes. Mercy communicates without being able to speak. I remember marveling about that ability in Liberty, too. At that moment, Mercy was communicating her enjoyment of our peaceful, light-heartedness. It was in her eyes.

I recognized it, and tried to communicate it back to her. "I love spending time with you, my baby Mercy," I said gently. I smiled into her eyes. I brushed my fingertips on her fat baby cheek. I circled her in my arms for one more hug before the doctor came in.

Later that evening while Jeremy, Kimmie and Charity watched a movie downstairs and Mercy slept, Liberty and I lay on the living room floor and colored a picture together. Liberty talked on and on, telling great stories. I was able to pick out most of the words. her imagination seems boundless. At one point, in the middle of a great story, Liberty suddenly stopped, set her crayon down, put her hand on my cheek and smiled into my eyes. "My Mommy," she said tenderly. She smiled again, then went back to her coloring. A little later, coloring forgotten, she grabbed my hand and encouraged, "Come on, Mommy." We ran into my bedroom to escape the "mustards" (monsters) and hid under the blankets. "Better hide! He's coming, Mommy. He's coming!" Then I felt little arms go around my neck, and she whispered into my ear, "No worry. I here, Mommy."

And really, surrounded by all this love, how can I worry? Those mustards better not mess with me.

Yesterday, I went to bed around 6:45 PM, and I slept until 7:00 AM. Oh, it was good.

Tomorrow, I have the day off from work. We are having a family picnic, and we might go to the beach.

Yay for fun!

AND SLEEP!

I haven't blogged in the last week or so. I've been taking time to enjoy life. Enjoying the fun parts and the work parts, and it's been great!

I'm learning that sometimes joy comes after a decision to smile and make the best of it. I choose to be joyful. I find something to be thankful for. And somehow, God turns it into exuberance instead of determination.

It's pretty cool!

Liberty is potty-training, but she has a unique perspective on the operation. The potty-chair must be completely clean; no water drops are allowed to remain in the bowl. She will not sit down until the inside of the bowl is completely wiped dry. Have you ever unnecessarily wiped clean water droplets out of a clean potty-chair bowl while holding a baby and corralling a two-year-old? It can be great fun.

Mercy pulls herself up to a standing position now. She is very insistent that she must be standing at all times, and boy, does she have a strong grip when climbing up a person!

Aunt Chari is back! Yay! She went on vacation for a week and returned yesterday. I missed her. I'm SO thankful to have my sister with me, again. Something inside me feels at peace, contented, whole. It's good to have a good friend.

Jeremy had a job interview yesterday. I'm glad, but I don't want to say any more about it. I'm going to stay completely calm. ;-)

Missy? Calm? Ha!

Hey! Who said that? I can remain calm and impassive if I choose to. Just watch me!

Kimmie is GRADUATING!!!! Have I mentioned that recently? So many, many things going on for her right now. Today, she is skipping the last half of school, and I am skipping the last half of work. She will be taking her drivers license test at 11:30 am, then we will get her car insurance, then go pick up her new car, then take it to another town about 45 minutes from here to get her license plates. After that, we will drive to the big city to pick up her prom dress and eat supper, then she will drive back to this town to attend a party and possibly spend the night at a friend's house. At that point, I will go home to work on her graduation announcements. I have them all printed, now I just need to fold all the announcements, print the envelopes, stuff them, stamp them, seal them AND PLACE THEM IN THE MAILBOX.

Can I get a round of applause, please?

Well, you'd better hold your applause for now, because I haven't actually gotten to the mailbox. But, when I do, I expect much praise! It may not be a big deal for anyone else, but that long walk to the mailbox is a major accomplishment for me.

I have to be honest with you and tell you that I am seriously struggling to enjoy life right now. I am not complaining, please don't get me wrong. It's just very hard to smile when problem after problem after problem comes. I do find the humor in some things. I do grip tightly to my God (Who is AWESOME!), but after a while, I feel like saying, "God, give us a break, already."

There are other situations going on in our lives that I do not feel appropriate to share on the blog, and those situations seem to be the ones causing me the most discomfort. But let's be realistic -- taking inventory: I am not being tortured or beaten. I get to sleep in a nice, warm, safe bed every night. There are no rats or roaches scurrying about. I am blessed way beyond measure, and for that I am so thankful.

I called my mom last night, and I asked, "When did my life get so hard? I used to flit about, dancing and singing, oblivious to real struggle even though struggle was all around me, but now I feel draggy and worn. I see nothing but a future full of more struggle. Maybe different ones, but always there, and I don't want to go there."

We started talking about Heaven and how burdens will be gone; light-heartedness will be constant, and we yearned to enjoy our future today.

Then I remembered a CD that I have been listening to. It belongs to my friend Caleb (hi, Caleb!) and it is the testimony of a man who was a POW at the "Hanoi Hilton" prison camp in Vietnam. He said something that really grabbed my attention.

He talked about the torture and the starvation and the loneliness, and he said that to block it all out he was spending most of his days dreaming about getting out and the happy times he would spend with his family. Then he and his roommate decided that they would be better off mentally if they focused on being the very best American soldiers and men that they could be right where they were. They kept the hope of getting out, but they determined to "live in the moment," as he called it, as though they would never be released.

That is what I am called to do. Yes, I long for Heaven. Yes, I know it will be wonderful, and all my troubles will be over, but I'm not there yet. I'm here, and I am called to be the best Missy I can possibly be. Right here. Right now. (Is that a slogan? I'm thinking Burger King or something like that? Oh, that must be "Your way, right away.")

Anyway, fast food or not, I need to live in the moment. So what can I do to make this moment my best moment for God's glory? What patterns do I need to change? Determination fills my soul to enjoy my life, including the struggles. After all, who wants to be a princess locked away in a tower where all you can see is sunshine and birds? I want to LIVE! Facing the dragons. Moment by moment.

And at this moment, I am starving!

Maybe I'll find some Burger King...

A few weeks ago, the first warmish day of the season bathed us in it's beauty. I took the girls outside for some much needed exercise, and Jeremy started his first yard work of 2009. It was a great day.

Jeremy turned on the backyard faucet to spray out his spreader, and he noticed the water pressure was very low. He commented on it, and asked if we had something running inside the house. I flipped through my mental list and finally told him, "No, nothing is running." He shrugged and continued with his chores.

About an hour later, Jeremy attempted to turn off the backyard faucet. It would not stop. He turned it right; he turned it left. He turned to me and called across the yard, "Which direction does this faucet turn off?"

"Um, 'Righty tighty, lefty loosey'? Try turning it to the right," I responded.

He fiddled with it some more.

"Missy, come try this," he finally hollered to me.

I stood there and wrestled with it for a while, but then I noticed a tiny stream of water gently flowing from underneath the house siding about six inches away from the faucet. I frowned at it, and a small warning light went off in my brain. "That doesn't look like a good thing," I muttered, "I'm going inside. Watch the girls."

I walked into the kitchen to see if the sink (which is located in the same general area as the outside faucet) was looking strangely. The sink appeared to be okay, but an odd noise hit my ears immediately. It sounded like static on the baby monitor. I decided to investigate.

The closer I got to the basement, the louder the sound became. I walked down the staircase, and the sound became a booming, splashing, roaring noise. I stepped down the last few steps with dread in my heart, and an unbelievable sight met my eyes. The far concrete wall of our basement had transformed into a beautiful waterfall about four feet in width, and the floor had become a lake. In the ceiling, a foot and a half away from the exterior wall, a small pipe sprayed water in a fountain-head design. At least four inches of water covered half of the basement. Thankfully, the carpeting on the other half of the basement, and the furniture and entertainment area were only beginning to get damp at that point. I stared for two and a half seconds, then ran as fast as I could up the stairs.

"Turn off the water! The basement is flooding!"

Long story short (which I am famous for, of course), the pipe had frozen over the winter. Our new best friend, Plumber Chad, came on his day off and fixed our pipe so that we could resume the enjoyment of running water.

Today, Jeremy called me at work. "We have no water at home."

"What? Why?"

"I just tried to turn off the outside front faucet. It must have frozen, too."

Kimmie is graduating in 33 school days! The preparations are in high gear! She put a deposit on an apartment today. We obtained a couch for her apartment yesterday. It is sitting in her bedroom at home right now, and she ignored her bed to sleep on that couch last night. I smiled when I saw that. It reminded me of my graduation days.

How do you say goodbye? How do you let an adult by legality who is still a child in reality go out on her own? How do you let her succeed or fail without a safety net?

Oh, my Kimmie!

I am so excited and happy and scared for you, yet I have to contain my fears so that they do not hinder you.

She's a full-grown woman. She reminded me again last night, "I can make my own decisions!" And she's right. She can. She even makes pretty good decisions most of the time. And I'm proud of her.

But what if she chooses something wrong? What if she gets deceived by a bad situation? What if...?

But this is not right! I have to let her go. I must rely on God to care for her. After all, He's done an awesome job of caring for me through good and bad choices on my part.

And I'll only be a fifteen minute drive away...why does that seem so far?

Exploring the arena of the jobless...an interesting experience.

First stage - panic
Second stage - no big deal, maybe this is an opportunity for bigger and better things
Third stage - reality, budget cuts at home
Fourth stage - hunkering down for the long haul
Fifth stage - hope, job leads
Sixth stage - job rejections lead to despair
Seventh stage - determination, emotions get locked away so that they cannot lie about hope or promote giving up
Eighth stage - a feeling of camaraderie with other jobless people, we're in this together, and a strange sense of fierceness

Through it all - Jesus gives peace!

Kimmie's graduation is looming. I am waiting on the invitations to arrive in the mail. I am waiting on Kimmie to FINISH the list of friends that she wants invited. I am refereeing college ideas, housing ideas, job ideas. I love it, but my mind keeps juggling...and dropping.

Mercy has started acting a little funny. Always rubbing her eyes and nose. A little whiny, but OH, so happy! I think she's teething. I wonder if she has allergies. I wonder if she has a cold. My allergies are acting up, and they feel like a sinus infection even though I know they are not. It makes me sad for Mercy, assuming she feels the way I do.

Liberty has finally decided that she has a mind of her own. She's gone from my very agreeable, happy girl, to this child who crumples on the floor in tears when I say no. That's a lot of fun. But she is still so sweet and happy in-between! I love the sentences she comes up with. Her English is lacking, but her vocabulary is delightful.

My sister Charity has come to visit us for a while, and she has made a big difference the past few days. She's been taking care of the girls while I am at work so that Jeremy can concentrate full-time on searching for a job. Jeremy had been spending most of his time caring for the kids instead of answering emails and making phone calls. He is finally feeling productive!

Several recruiters have contacted Jeremy for more information so that they can better job-hunt for him. He spent seven hours yesterday sitting at his computer filling out questionnaires. Then his eyeballs fell out.

My boss, Craig, gave me a little bit of extra pay unexpectedly yesterday, so Jeremy and I went on a date while Aunt Chari played with Liberty and Mercy. That money would have been useful elsewhere in our budget, but sometimes, you've just gotta splurge, you know? It made a big difference in my outlook: a surprise pick-me-up, time alone with my husband! We were able to talk without interruptions, and just relax with each other. It was wonderful!

Aunt Chari and Liberty had the following conversation.

Chari: "Is your name Mommy?"
Liberty (giggles) "Nooooo."
C: "Is your name Daddy?"
L: "Noooo."
C: "Is your name Kimmie?"
L: "Noooo."
C: "Is your name Mercy?"
L: "Noooo."
C: "Well, what is your name then?"
L: (pauses to think) "Call me... DUDE!"
Then she fist-bumped Aunt Chari.

I'm raising a gangster.