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I am convinced that hilarity blooms in my office! My boss, Craig, and his wife, Kathy, attended a marriage seminar this past weekend, and they are displaying its side-effects today.
Act 1
Setting: Kathy has been power-walking around the town square this morning. When it begins snowing, she decides to come into the office to get warmed up before heading back to her house.
Jingle-jingle (bells on the front door signal an entrance into the office).
K: "It's just me!"
M: "Hi, Kathy!"
Kathy enters, wearing windbreaker pants, a turtleneck and sweatshirt, and pantomimes stomping her feet and blowing on her gloved hands for warmth, then heads to the empty front desk to check her email.
C: "Hey, Kath. Want to go out with me today for lunch?"
K: "Not today, Craig. I've got a whole list of things that I have to get done, and I just don't have time to stop for lunch. I'm very sorry."
C: (Disappointed) "Oh, are you sure?"
K: "Yeah, I... Well, you really want to go, don't you?"
C: (Sincerely) "No, that's okay. I know that you really need to get that stuff done."
K: "No, really, let me go to lunch with you."
C: "Oh no, Kath, I understand."
K: "Craig, I know this is important to you; let me go to lunch with you, please."
C: "Well, if you're sure about this."
K: "I am. Now where do you want to go? Subway?"
C: (Just barely hesitates) "Sure, Subway sounds great."
K: "Oh, I know you want to do Chinese don't you? Let's do Chinese."
(Parenthetical side note: Kathy hates Chinese. A few days ago, Craig tried very hard to talk her into Chinese, but they ended up at Subway.)
C: "No, let's do Subway."
K: "No, I know you'd like to have Chinese. I can eat with you there. Let's do Chinese."
C: "No, no. I think we should go to Subway."
K: "But Craig, I know that you would love to have Chinese today. Let's go there."
C: "Hey now, this isn't about just me. Let's go somewhere that we both would love."
K: "But I know how much you would like to have Chinese. It's fine with me to do Chinese. Let's do Chinese."
C: "No, Kathy, we can do Subway. I know you like Subway."
K: "Ooh, I know. How about we go...no, I'm not dressed for that."
C: "For what?"
K: "Well, I was going to say, let's go to the hotel, but I'm not dressed for that."
C: "I don't know. I know how much you enjoy Subway, and I want you to enjoy your lunch."
Kathy glances into the open door of Missy's office and notices Missy's huge grin and stifled chortling sounds.
M: "Don't worry," (gasping for air) "I'm laughing WITH you. Really."
K: "No you're not! You're laughing at us."
Craig and Kathy leave the office with arms intertwined.
As the door closes:
K: "Let's just do Chinese. Or how about Smokey Row? We could do Smokey Row if you'd like."
Act 2
Setting: Thirty minutes have passed.
Jingle-jingle (bells on the door signal an entrance into the office.)
C & K: "It's just us!"
M: "Hi, us!"
Craig and Kathy enter holding throw-away cups emblazoned with the Subway logo.
Act 1
Setting: Kathy has been power-walking around the town square this morning. When it begins snowing, she decides to come into the office to get warmed up before heading back to her house.
Jingle-jingle (bells on the front door signal an entrance into the office).
K: "It's just me!"
M: "Hi, Kathy!"
Kathy enters, wearing windbreaker pants, a turtleneck and sweatshirt, and pantomimes stomping her feet and blowing on her gloved hands for warmth, then heads to the empty front desk to check her email.
C: "Hey, Kath. Want to go out with me today for lunch?"
K: "Not today, Craig. I've got a whole list of things that I have to get done, and I just don't have time to stop for lunch. I'm very sorry."
C: (Disappointed) "Oh, are you sure?"
K: "Yeah, I... Well, you really want to go, don't you?"
C: (Sincerely) "No, that's okay. I know that you really need to get that stuff done."
K: "No, really, let me go to lunch with you."
C: "Oh no, Kath, I understand."
K: "Craig, I know this is important to you; let me go to lunch with you, please."
C: "Well, if you're sure about this."
K: "I am. Now where do you want to go? Subway?"
C: (Just barely hesitates) "Sure, Subway sounds great."
K: "Oh, I know you want to do Chinese don't you? Let's do Chinese."
(Parenthetical side note: Kathy hates Chinese. A few days ago, Craig tried very hard to talk her into Chinese, but they ended up at Subway.)
C: "No, let's do Subway."
K: "No, I know you'd like to have Chinese. I can eat with you there. Let's do Chinese."
C: "No, no. I think we should go to Subway."
K: "But Craig, I know that you would love to have Chinese today. Let's go there."
C: "Hey now, this isn't about just me. Let's go somewhere that we both would love."
K: "But I know how much you would like to have Chinese. It's fine with me to do Chinese. Let's do Chinese."
C: "No, Kathy, we can do Subway. I know you like Subway."
K: "Ooh, I know. How about we go...no, I'm not dressed for that."
C: "For what?"
K: "Well, I was going to say, let's go to the hotel, but I'm not dressed for that."
C: "I don't know. I know how much you enjoy Subway, and I want you to enjoy your lunch."
Kathy glances into the open door of Missy's office and notices Missy's huge grin and stifled chortling sounds.
M: "Don't worry," (gasping for air) "I'm laughing WITH you. Really."
K: "No you're not! You're laughing at us."
Craig and Kathy leave the office with arms intertwined.
As the door closes:
K: "Let's just do Chinese. Or how about Smokey Row? We could do Smokey Row if you'd like."
Act 2
Setting: Thirty minutes have passed.
Jingle-jingle (bells on the door signal an entrance into the office.)
C & K: "It's just us!"
M: "Hi, us!"
Craig and Kathy enter holding throw-away cups emblazoned with the Subway logo.
Too funny :)
ya i remeber this one you sent it in an email but i still love it lol and this was going to be my last one for tonight but iv red it befor so im going to read another one hehe