This is Missy writing again.  I am so grateful to my friend who wants to remain anonymous, and who is blessing me enormously by filling in here when I am overwhelmed.  

Friday evening was my time to do battle with the enemy and win.  Saturday all day, Liberty was in battle and losing.  In fact, she wasn't really even trying to battle.  She was quitting.  God has conquered fear and pain already with her last week and early this week, and she has been experiencing great joy and peace.  So much so that the hospital staff have been commenting and stopping by to find out what is making this difference.  This time He was working on doubt and discouragement.  My poor girl.  Once again I could do nothing to help her but pray fervently.  All. Day. Long.

God gave us a wonderful nurse named Martha who took a lot of time to listen to Liberty's heart.  Just being able to speak about her thoughts to a neutral party eased the pressure a little bit.  Liberty struggles most with the unknown timeline.  We have absolutely NO idea how long we have to be here, and adding to that, every time we think we have fixed a problem, the fix creates another huge problem that has to be solved.  She is losing confidence that any new procedure or surgery will ever be completely successful.  Additionally, as you read in the previous post, she has gotten extremely dehydrated.  Her skin is tenting, her brain is slipping, her balance and eyesight are missing.  Her physical weakness frustrates and discourages her.  Martha listened quietly to it all and asked questions and shared stories of her own, and Liberty slowly released all the words.

Then God sent us Cassidy.  Cassidy was our night shift nurse.  Liberty's depression had been a topic of concern amongst the nurses especially because it was so unexpected to them.  Cassidy gave Liberty a bath and tucked her into bed while I quietly shared truths from God's Word.  Jesus felt this way just before His crucifixion.  His entire body cried and ached in Gethsemane from the stress and sadness ahead of Him, and His loneliness skyrocketed when His friends wouldn't even stay awake to pray for Him.  King David cried out to God in despair, in anger, in frustration, in every feeling.  He didn't have to have it all together, every time.  "I feel so sad, Mom," Liberty started out speaking but was quickly overcome by sobs.  I felt relieved that she was finally acknowledging her grief.  "What do I do with this feeling?"  

I stopped and listened for the right answer.  Who even knows these things?  "Just be sad.  Tell God you are sad."

"And ask Him to fix it?" she wanted to know.

"No.  Tell Him you are sad, and just be.  But be with Him."

Cassidy had been listening this entire time.  "I'll go finish my work with my other patients and come color with you, Liberty."

Liberty's face lit up!

And that is how the three of us colored until 1:00 in the morning.  We shared Bible verses together, we encouraged each other in the Lord by telling stories of His goodness to us in our pasts, and Liberty won her fight against discouragement.  She kicked that spirit to the curb and then ordered it completely out of the hospital in the name of Jesus.  :-D

After Cassidy left, the two of us stayed up talking in the dark about life and hard things and our wonderful God.  We began praying for so many people and situations and things that God wants to do.  And even though I personally didn't fall asleep until around 4 am, and work up around 6 am, my soul is refreshed.  Liberty fell asleep around 4 am as well, but the nurses came in every hour to mess with her tubing and check her vitals.  I let her sleep until 11:30 this morning (Sunday morning), and we have had wonderful, happy, laughing fellowship all day again like normal.  

I am loving the long term effects this hospital stay will be having on my girl.  Fighting all these huge battles now while she is young will clear the way for bigger things to be accomplished in the future.  That's not to say that she won't have to refight ever again, but just like in my life, every time we win something once, it makes it easier to win again. 

God is so good to us!